


I Loved You More Than You'll Ever Know

by VoxelVirus



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, F/F, F/M, Goodbyes, Multi, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoxelVirus/pseuds/VoxelVirus
Summary: Countless timelines and resets later, and it's all finally coming to an end. Shinji Ikari, the fated Third Child, discovers he's learned the most important lesson of all: You must learn to let go and move on.Based loosely on the ending of Evangelion 3+1: Thrice Upon a Time. NOT spoiler free.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Shikinami Asuka Langley, Makinami Mari Illustrious/Shikinami Asuka Langley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	I Loved You More Than You'll Ever Know

**Author's Note:**

> I have Evangelion brainworms and wrote this after hearing about how the franchise concludes. I haven't actually seen the movie yet, so consider this my own little spin on the end.

“So I guess this is it, then.”

Shinji looked up and over at the one-eyed woman that sat next to him on the sand, hugging her knees to her chest as she watched the wisps of souls flow past them. Like ethereal wind, Shinji could feel the cold pricks of their presence as they passed them both by. They were all flowing into the ocean before them. Tinted red near the shoreline where they sat, the water appeared to get visibly more blue the farther out you looked.

Shinji, in his moment of atonement, had created a world of his own creation once more. But it was not a world of emptiness, nor a world of darkness and despair. It was a world of hope; a place of palpable kindred dreams and familiar faces.

“Are you really going to stay behind, Asuka?” Shinji asked.

The woman scoffed. “Of course I am.” She replied simply. Turning her head to the side, she cast her gaze towards the other familiar figures a little ways down the beach. Mari already had her feet in the water, laughing happily as she talked with Rei and Kaworu still on the beach. They were all smiling.

“Who else is gonna keep those two oblivious Angels in check?” Asuka stood up, dusting the sand from her plugsuit. She reached over, grabbing Shinji by the hand and helping him stand.

“Come on,” She said, beginning to pull him towards where the others were. “Let’s go say hi. Just like old times.”

Rei was the first to acknowledge the approaching pair. She gave a small wave, red eyes full of a newfound life. Kaworu nodded towards them.

“Hey, you two.” Mari said, waving at them. “I was just trying to convince these two they should totally come with us.”

“But as we told her, I’m afraid we’ll have to pass.” Kaworu said, smiling warmly. “A world without Angels or Evas is not a world where we truly belong.”

“There are still people choosing to stay here that need hope.” Rei added. She’d gotten a lot more talkative; no longer the monotone silent girl that people were so familiar with. “So we will stay.”

“And what about you, Princess?” Mari looked towards the German woman who was still clutching Shinji’s hand. “Any chance I could convince you at the last minute to join me and the puppy?”

“Like I said, it’s not happening.” Asuka let go of Shinji, walking towards the water's edge. Mari moved to meet her there. One stood on dry land, the other in the water that was the key to a new genesis. A few inches apart, yet a world’s length away.

“I’m content staying here. Really.” Asuka said, looking over at the woman she knew as her co-pilot for the past decade and a half.

“... Even without me?”

And for a moment, Asuka allowed herself to falter. She frowned, gaze following to the water that licked at her feet.

“... Even without you.”

A moment of silence passed between them. Mari was the first to break the silence with a small giggle. “That’s so like you, Asuka.” Mari reached out, gently cupping the other’s cheek. Her touch was gentle and warm. It almost felt like a dream at this point. Maybe it was. “It’s so like you to be strong and independent, even in the end.”

“But unlike before, I won’t be alone anymore.” Asuka replied quietly. “You’ll be gone, but I won’t be alone.”

“Who said anything about truly being gone?” Mari whispered, leaning in closer. “I think you know by now, princess, that I’ll always be with you no matter what.”

Shinji, who was watching this from the sidelines, smiled. There was a certain ache in his heart as he watched Mari lean in and meet Asuka’s lips. A faint longing, yearning for what could have been. But his resolve had sinced been steeled. It was not jealousy he felt, but rather a bittersweet happiness that everyone was finally getting the closure they deserved.

Asuka closed her eyes, allowing Mari to kiss her. Against all odds, she found herself returning the kiss too. It was a long, precious moment. One that would surely remain with the two until the end of their days. It was all punctuated by the sudden sound of a click.

Asuka’s eyes fluttered open, and she pulled back. In Mari’s hands was the DSS choker that was clasped around Asuka’s neck mere seconds before. The scourge of her personhood, her punishment for mistakes made by the fated children. Mari had removed it.

“Wh-” The woman could barely muster the words, eyes widening as the realization set in that she was now free from its looming presence. “Four eyes, how did you-?”

“It’s okay,” Mari smiled, allowing the now inactive DSS choker to fall from her hands and onto the sand below. “You’re free now. Free to make your own decisions and story, just like those two silly dorks over there.”

“I’m happy for you, Asuka.” Shinji piped up, gingerly approaching them. He slipped off his shoes and socks, before stepping into the ocean’s water with Mari. He didn’t want to leave this world with wet socks.

But before he could get out of reach, Asuka reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards her to plant a kiss upon his lips. Another fleeting moment of warmth and belonging. It wasn’t meant to be, but they’d both remember it regardless.

By the time he pulled back from the kiss, his cheeks were red. One foot on the sand, one foot in the water. Between worlds, he’d gotten something he didn’t know he wanted.

Closure.

“Get out of here.” Asuka mustered the words, reaching up with her calloused hand to touch her lips that had just been against Shinji’s. She let go of him, taking a slow step back from the waters edge. “Make that world of your’s something amazing, Shinji.”

It was a bittersweet goodbye. Each side couldn’t bring themselves to look away as the gap between them seemed to widen. Kaworu, with his hands in his pockets, looked onward with a solemn smile.

“Thank you for everything, Shinji-kun.” He spoke softly. There was no way he could have heard him, but still Shinji gave a wave as they waded deeper into the water.

“I’ll never forget you!” Shinji called out. He couldn’t tell if it was the water, or if his eyes were beginning to leak tears of their own.

His last view of the red world he was leaving behind was the figures of Rei, Kaworu, and Asuka all standing on the beach - backed by countless figures of those choosing to remain. Some familiar, most not. In that moment, as Shinji followed Mari’s lead and allowed the blissfully warm water to sweep him away into the next world, he realized that the most powerful lesson in life was learning to let go and move on. Cherish the time you spent with people, and always keep looking forward towards a better tomorrow.

As Shinji Ikari, the fated Third Child, breached the surface of the water, he found himself with the most breathtaking view of a city bathed in gently falling snow.

A beautiful world, a new genesis.

**Author's Note:**

> It's surreal realizing that the franchise as we know it is over. It's been a long time coming, but everything has to end eventually. Evangelion has been a massive impact on my life and will no doubt continue to be for the foreseeable future.
> 
> I've always struggled with loss and learning to let go. I've always wondered if the pain of losing someone is worth the happiness of having known them. It's a process trying to learn, but I have faith that my love for these characters and being with them as they learn to move on will eventually help me learn to move on, too.
> 
> Thank you, Hideaki Anno. You're a weird fellow, but a massively influential one nevertheless. You've created something that will help me learn to accept loss and words cannot express how thankful I am for that.
> 
> "To my father, thank you.  
> To my mother, farewell.  
> And to all the children... Congratulations!"
> 
> Bye-bye, all of Evangelion! I can't wait to see where the franchise gets taken next!


End file.
